If it Ain't Broke
by singeivoire
Summary: The simple task of fixing a cell phone can get complicated pretty quickly, especially with Renji involved. A RenjiRukia oneshot.


This is a (belated) birthday fic for my stupendous (if occasionally nitpicky) beta waiting4morning. Check out her profile for more Bleach birthday fic action. Stories are so much more fun than regular gifts!

This is my first foray into Bleach fandom. Let me know what you think!

Consider these characters, etc. disclaimed!

* * *

"What are you doing?" Renji stopped his progress down one of the side streets in Karakura Town and turned back to look at Rukia. The petite soul reaper had halted in the middle of the street and was staring at something in her hand.

"The phone's not working." Rukia peered intently at the screen and shook the little machine till it rattled.

"You can use mine if you want, Kuchiki-san." Orihime tossed her hair over one shoulder and began to fumble in her purse.

"I don't think that will do me much good," Rukia said wryly.

"Is there a hollow?" Renji ambled back to Rukia and peered over her shoulder. He had to crouch a little to make out the tiny cell phone display.

"No, and that's the problem." Rukia shoved the phone back in her pocket and glanced at the sky as if she expected a black portal to open up at any second, pouring out countless white-masked minions.

"So, it's been slow lately. What's wrong with that?" Honestly, they could all use a break after all the time they had just spent in Hueco Mundo playing with arrancar. Though, come to think of it, Renji was getting a little antsy from inactivity. Honestly, how did Ichigo stand doing the so-called "normal human stuff" all the time?

"It's been two weeks since this thing has gone off." Rukia glared at offending phone.

"Do you need to recharge it?" Orihime was still rummaging in her bag. "Sometimes I forget to plug my phone in at night, and I don't notice it's out of power until I clean out my purse, and that doesn't happen very often." She pulled the phone out with a victorious "aha!" only to frown at it and point the dark screen at her companions. "See, it did it again!"

"Don't worry about it, Inoue. It wouldn't do me any good anyway." Rukia gave a worried frown and continued walking. "I'll just have to stop by Urahara-san's shop and have him fix it or give me a new one." The glint in Rukia's eye looked like it was supposed to be accompanied by knuckle cracking.

Renji didn't think a run-in with Urahara Kisuke was advisable. The slipper-hat guy had foisted too many faulty spirit products on Rukia already. She was bound to snap soon.

"I can take it." Renji gave a deliberately casual shrug. "If you don't want to go all the way down to Urahara Shop. I mean, I go there anyway. I can get it fixed for you."

"Really?" Rukia sounded more doubtful than hopeful.

"Sure, I've got connections. I live there, after all." Renji straightened up, tipping his chin up a little as he said it. Rukia raised an eyebrow, but she handed over the cell phone. For some reason, the brunette's mute skepticism made him want to up the stakes and prove her _wrong_. "Hey, I can get this done – no problem."

"I'm sure you can."

"So, when do you need it back?" Renji fiddled with a few buttons on the little phone, wondering how such a small woman managed to look so superior. The machine gave a few discouraging bloops. Renji looked at Rukia with an expression that he hoped was insolent enough to spark a competitive note in the little soul reaper next to him.

"The sooner, the better. We can't have hollows running around willy-nilly. How soon do you think you can take care of it?" Bingo, Rukia had put forth the challenge.

"So, like, tomorrow?" Renji persisted, digging for the stakes. Specifics – specifics are where you really get license to gloat after winning a bet.

"If not tonight." Rukia crossed her arms. "You need something to pay for the repairs?"

"Nah, I've got it." Renji flipped the phone in the air, caught it, and slipped it into the pocket of his bell-bottoms.

"Well, don't break it worse than it already is broken…"

"Aw, hell, it'll come back better than it was before it was broken in the first place. Just you wait."

"Okay, sounds good to me." A small smile played around the corner of Rukia's mouth.

"Okay? Well, fine then, It's a bet!" Renji left Rukia and Orihime where they were and peeled off into another direction. No time to waste. A better cell phone, for no money, by tonight. He would get it done!

* * *

The tall redhead and petite brunette watched Renji trot around the corner and out of sight.

"Kuchiki-san?"

"Hmm?"

"Did Renji-kun just make a bet with himself?"

"Yes, I believe he did."

"Why would he do that?"

"I think he's bored."

* * *

"Hey, Moocher! What are you doing back here so early? Did you get hungry or something?" Jinta paused in the midst of brandishing a broom at Ururu and greeted Renji in his usual bratty little boy tones.

"Hello, Moocher-san." The dark-haired girl gave Renji a meek smile and dropped her guarding hands a little. Jinta, taking advantage of the distraction, swung the broom handle at her.

Renji ignored the jabs for once. "Where is Urahara?"

"Ow-ow-ow! Don't get blood on the floor or we'll have to mop it again, Jinta-kun!" Ururu flapped her hands above her head, fending off the broom. "Urahara-san is in the basement, Moocher-san!"

"Forget it; I'm not mopping the floor! You can clean if you want."

"But I mopped it last time, Jinta-kun!"

Renji picked his way around the bickering children and made his way to the entrance of the "basement", an enormous, open-air cavern under Urahara Shop. Upon opening the door the crashing and shouting of a battle-in-progress could be heard. Renji put a foot on the top rung of the latter, and the crack of exploding rocks and clang of zanpaktous ceased for a minute.

Urahara Kisuke appeared in the patch of empty sand under the ladder. Fanning himself with a lazy grace, he tipped back his striped bucket hat and looked up at Renji. "You need something?"

"Who are you training down there?"

Urahara just responded with an unreadable smile. "What can I do for you?"

Renji pulled out the cell phone and flourished it. "Rukia's phone isn't working."

The scraggly blond man gestured for Renji to toss the phone down to him. Renji gave the spiritual-electronic device a practiced toss down the hole. Urahara caught it deftly and began to examine the phone with probing fingers – pushing buttons, pulling out chips, disassembling and reconstructing – with the air of someone who knew what he was doing too well to be overly concerned with it.

"Hm. Looks like the reiatsu sensors are misaligned – it's having trouble detecting anything less than arrancar. Should be able to reprogram that. I'll be up in a bit." Urahara hefted the phone and made to toss it back up to Renji, who crouched by the door, ready to catch it.

"Oy – Kisuke! I'm getting bored over here!" The feminine voice drew the attention of both men just as Urahara was releasing the phone from his grip. Renji fumbled for it in mid air, off balance from the distraction. He managed to grab the tiny bunny charm that hung off the antenna, but then lost his balance. Pin-wheeling his arms backwards so as not to fall face-first into the cavern, Renji felt rather than heard the phone swing up to smack the doorframe and shatter on the spot.

"Shit!" Renji, now on his ass on the store floor, heard the telltale tinkle of plastic parts falling on rocks below. He was still gripping the bunny charm, but all that was now connected to it was the antenna and what looked like the shattered corner of a microchip. He swore again, louder, and for good measure kicked the door, which rattled a little in its frame.

"_That_ might be harder to fix." Urahara's voice wafted up the ladder.

* * *

The bits of phone were spread out on the kitchen table, impacted with sand and utterly unsalvageable.

"Well, what do you think?" Renji fiddled with the bunny charm – it was the only recognizable bit of phone left. He tried to stave off despair.

"Well, I have other phones." Urahara leaned back in the chair opposite Renji. "Some of them are almost as good as that one there… was." He gestured at the remnants. "What's your price range?"

"Woah, hold on, I'm not paying for it! You broke the thing!" Renji leaned forward aggressively. He reminded himself in passing that he probably wasn't going to be able to intimidate a free phone out of this man, but the vein throbbing in his temple won out over reason.

"Hey, hey. You're the one who thought it was a good idea to play catch with Rukia-san's phone. That's not my fault." Urahara's posture remained relaxed, mouth fixed in a smirk.

"But you threw it badly!"

"Well, you caught it even more badly."

"I was distracted!"

"That's not my problem."

"What's the problem here?" Yoruichi's voice preceded her into the room. One lustrous brown arm pushed aside the door, and the rest of the woman followed, clad only in a towel.

"The problem is YOU distracted me!" Renji tried for as much menace as he could manage with a half-clothed Yoruichi around. He hoped the flush he felt in his face was more anger than embarrassment.

"Wait, how did _I_ get mixed up in this?" Yoruichi leaned on the table with feline grace and gave Renji an eloquent "what-the-hell?" look.

"You entered the room… in a towel no less. You were bound to get dragged in." Urahara shot her a conspiratorial smile.

"I was in the shower. I suppose I could have just licked myself clean after sparring all day, but I didn't think that was good manners." Yoruichi grinned back at the man in the bucket hat. "I can always get rid of the towel if you want."

Renji shouted a "no!" at the same time as Urahara drawled a "maybe later." An awkward silence followed as Yoruichi drew out a third chair and sat down. Renji looked back to the bunny charm and then up at the clock on the wall.

"Well, can I get another phone on credit?" Desperation edged into Renji's voice.

"Mmmmm, no. I don't think your credit's very good here." Urahara, who was fiddling with the plastic refuse, picked up a piece of casing and snapped it in half idly.

"Hey! Why not?" Renji swept the plastic bits closer, away from Urahara's reach.

"Well, you don't exactly contribute much to our little household here." The blond, behatted man tossed the pieces of plastic on to Renji's pile.

"Hey! I contribute!"

"How is that?"

"I… well. I helped you train that Chad guy, right?"

"Eh, I guess, but still…" Urahara gave a slow, casual shake of his head. "We feed you here and everything."

By this point, Renji felt that the sheer pressure of frustration was making his face match his hair. He splayed his fingers out on the table. "Well, what do you suggest? It's Rukia's phone, she'll need it back!"

Yoruichi let out a thoughtful "hmmm" and propped her elbow on the back of her chair, leaning back to study Renji. "And why are you trying to fix Kuchiki Rukia's phone for her?"

Renji frowned, puzzled. "Well, it was broken."

"I can see that." Yoruichi pushed a strand of damp purple hair out of her eyes.

"Well, she was worried about it, so I said I'd take care of it." Renji fiddled with the bunny charm, running it between his fingers like a coin. "She bet me I wouldn't get it done, so I want to get it done." This rather lame explanation was all he could come up with at the moment, so Renji scratched the back of his head and frowned at the phone's remains.

"So it's a male-ego-competitive thing?" Yoruichi shot a glance back at Urahara.

Renji scratched at his tattooed eyebrow and glowered. "Not really… it's more…uh, well she's… we grew up together, and she's my… friend."

Each time Renji's speech halted Yoruichi's left eyebrow rose a little. The resulting expression was sublimely knowing and infuriating. "Hm, I see. Say, Kisuke?"

"Yeah?" The man was also giving Renji a look that jumped to conclusions.

"How's my credit here?"

"Your credit? Oh, it's excellent."

"Then put the new phone on my credit."

"Wh-what?" Renji wasn't sure if he should be put off by unequal treatment of moochers at Urahara Shop or worried about how much he would owe Yoruichi for this favor.

"Well, as you said. It _was_ my fault. I _did_ distract you." Yoruichi pushed her chair back from the table. "Shall we go see what the options are?"

"Okay, but… why the sudden generosity?" Renji scrambled to stand up after her.

"Oh, I just want to see everyone happy, that's all."

* * *

Rukia gathered up a couple of plates and walked them over to the sink where Yuzu was already sudsing up some hot water. She "mm-hmm'ed" every so often to the chatter of Ichigo's father and sisters, taking pleasure in the company.

"Eh, Rukia!" Ichigo scuffed into the room; he looked annoyed—well, more annoyed than usual.

"Yeah?" She deposited the dishes and brushed off her hands.

"Renji wants to talk to you."

Rukia passed Ichigo in the doorway and turned toward the phone in the hall.

"Hey – he's not on the phone." Rukia gave Ichigo a questioning glance, and the highschooler pointed in the direction of his room.

Upon entering Ichigo's room, Rukia could see the reason for his annoyance. Renji dominated the room: sitting on the window sill, feet splayed on the bed, arms crossed. He had apparently kicked in the window screen in order to enter the room because it had landed in the middle of Ichigo's desk full of homework. Rukia smiled internally at the scene.

"Here's your phone. Told you so." Renji tossed the contraption across the room – gingerly, it seemed to Rukia. She examined the device. It was a completely different phone, with a sparkly lavender cover and a smaller display, but it appeared to work. The cell phone charm was the same, though it looked slightly chipped.

"Couldn't just fix the old one in time?" Rukia glanced up at Renji. "Or was it beyond repair?"

"Ehh, something like that." Renji scratched the base of his ponytail and averted his eyes. "This one's good, though – right? You like purple?"

"Purple is fine. It's very… sparkly." Rukia studied the redhead opposite her. His eyes were still averted, and his mouth was twitched into a characteristic scowl. "I like sparkly, though. Thank you for taking care of it, Renji."

His expression lightened a little. "Yeah, sure, whatever. No problem." Renji waved his hand as if the thank you were a fly. Rukia felt a fond smile creep across her face.

"Thank you – I mean it." Rukia crossed the room, stepping on Ichigo's bed, to alight on the windowsill next to Renji. She gave him a friendly elbow in the ribs.

"Hey, it's no biggie." Renji actually smiled a little and glanced down at her, an odd light in his eyes. Rukia felt an unaccountable flush creep up her neck under his gaze. She couldn't figure why…

"Renji…"

"Yeah?"

"Do you—" Rukia was cut off by an obnoxious beeping and rattling coming from her pocket. She would have to do something about the ringer. She flipped the phone open.

"Hollow?" Renji peered over her shoulder at the display.

"Yeah, two of them." Rukia stood up from the sill abruptly and reached in her pocket for her mod soul pills.

Renji grinned and held aside the curtain to the window, gesturing her through. "After you."

Rukia felt a similar grin spread across her own features and passed the pill container to her friend.

A moment later they were leaping through the air, shoulder to shoulder against the night sky.


End file.
